A Breakdown
Apparently, I scared my mom shit yesterday. I don’t exactly remember everything that happened, just that I had a breakdown, called my mom and told her, “I wanna get better” while crying my heart out. Who knows what happened after that?
We just talked. She’s not going to work this day because everyone in my family’s so frigging nervous and worried leaving me alone after yesterday’s episode. I feel as if I’m hanging on a thin line here. One more push and I’d break. She told me I should get myself busy, but I can’t stay in front of the computer 24/7. And whenever I’m reading, I do “the thing” unconsciously, so when I’m done reading and see what I did, I just get frustrated with myself.
There must be something I can do, something to keep my hands busy, that won’t bore me enough to kill myself.